


Half a Hatchling

by hitagashi



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Gen, Kink Meme, M/M, Smaug adopts Bilbo, the Bifur/Bilbo is implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 18:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hitagashi/pseuds/hitagashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Smaug adopts Bilbo and gives over the all mighty rock pile that is Erebor and literally doesn't give a damn about the Arkenrock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Half a Hatchling

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry to all canon lovers but the idea that he found it to bring it back was pretty much perfect to me. Haven't seen the movie yet, going merely from reading all the books. Also, I'm trying to make this seem as serious as possible. Despite it not being. At all.
> 
> [Prompt](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/2235.html?thread=3304379#t3304379):
> 
> "So...years of only living with gold all around him has made Smaug lonely and mildly insane. While Bilbo is sneaking around Erebor, he finds a mithril vest and puts it on (perhaps to return it to the dwarves and still be able to carry more). The sound it makes while he's moving catches the dragon's attention, but the way it sparkles in light makes him mistake Bilbo for a dragon hatchling. So Smaug decides to adopt Bilbo as his own.
> 
> Pairings - if any - are up to Anon.
> 
> Bonus points if you can somehow make this a happy ending - should you decide to give it a plot, of course."

Bilbo supposes he should have been more quiet. As it is, he was mainly trying to get the shiny metal vest back to the dwarfs. Also to get out. Because that was a dragon and it was merely sleeping. And pretty as his scales were, he really didn't want to chance _incineration_ thank you very much. So that's likely why he froze when feeling the distinct sensation of an eye looking in his direction. A very big, very unpleasant eye. Of a no longer sleeping dragon.

“ **A child**?” The voice practically boomed around him and he nearly let out a hysterical laugh at that. Even the dragon thought he was a child! “ **Hatchling**.” He was obviously murmuring in half-awake words, but that didn't mean the hobbit was moving anywhere near him. In fact, he was trying to move away. “ **Come here, little one**.” He let out a squeak, terrified at the fact that he was being addressed. He was going to die. And then Thorin and the Company would kill him.

Smaug, however, was amused and concerned at the hatchling's behavior. He was shiny (smelled of a he) and many colored, so obviously he hadn't had time to make a namesake. Something in the back of his mind told him that it wasn't a child and that he was insane but instead he listened to the fact that the kit was shiny. And scared. The mighty dragon let out a comforting croon, tugging the small child to him. The child was obviously needing comfort if he was scared, fearsome as Smaug was, he would never hurt a tiny dragon child.

So he moved forward slightly, catching the scent of dwarf and earth before the tip of his nose bumped the small creature. As he let out a croon, he noticed the way the boy was trying to get away. This wouldn't do. If his parents weren't there, obviously it was Smaug's duty to take him in and teach him to be a dragon. Yes.

The dwarfs, however, were trying to find a way to get their burglar out. Unaware of the fact that their foe was trying to urge the halfling into the comfort of his coils. Or that the beast was considering on how to teach a tiny (and maybe wingless) dragon to fly. If he couldn't, the dragon was reasoning, he could always carry him about. But really, what they should have been doing would have been trying to get him back immediately.

“ **Here. This color suits you better than that blue.** ” And with that, a large emerald was settled in front of his drawn up legs. Three hours. Three hours of the dragon calling him a kit and a hatchling and crooning and licking at him. It was disturbing and terrifying but the hobbit couldn't quite blame him. He'd mentioned his loneliness, mentioned how sad he'd been to not see many of his kind. And at that moment Bilbo was far too confused to be scared anymore.

“Er... thank you?” As expected, the beast's maw opened to let the dragon slide his tongue over Bilbo's head. Which was disturbing. He was really, truly, genuinely close to tears. This was terrifying. He'd mentioned this. And the dragon had agreed, said that any dragon lacking wings would think that. And then Bilbo had cried a bit because what was going on made no sense. And then he'd been licked again. And now Smaug was _giving him things from the ho_ _a_ _rd_.

“ **Now, where was I?** ” The mighty beast seemed to ponder a moment, nodding to himself when he decided on what he meant. “ **You see, Ancalagon,** **he was the first winged dragon....** ” And so the dragon continued, hours of speaking to the hobbit nestled against his side of the dragons. The small man was actually beginning to drowse, Smaug's terrible, terrifying, deep voice lulling him to sleep. As the dragon ended his story, he noted the drooping of Bilbo's eyelids, the way he was slumping forward, snorting in amusement. Poor little wingless dragon, he never understood how some dragons could be without wings. The voice in his head was protesting, this wasn't a dragon, it was a dwarf or something similar. Like a half-breed between a dwarf and a man. Obviously, this is what he was. But no, he reasoned, he was shiny, and he listened to his stories.

Outside, the Company were talking with Gandalf, trying to find out what to do. Their burglar wasn't back yet. It was a horrible thought to them, that they'd lose him to the dragon. The wizard looked concerned and angry all at once. Never mind that he need not be that way. Smaug was perfectly content to take care of the little hatchling. Even if the little voice was right and he wasn't a dragon. He was still little and extremely polite.

Smaug liked polite. In fact, he felt like encouraging it in the small kit. He didn't realize that outside there was a force mounting to take him down. All it would take, though none of them knew it, was a simple hobbit asking for him not to attack or hoard it anymore.

Or rather, not that anyone outside knew. Smaug was watching him kindly and moved off his gold pile silently when the small being tried to slip away. “ **Where are you going, young one?** ” The hobbit whirled and fell onto a helpful piece of Smaug's tail before looking up. He expected anger, maybe a bit of fire, what he got was worry and amusement.

“Er, I told you about my friends. Well, they're out there waiting.”

“ **Your dwarf friends. The ones who aim to kill me.** ” Bilbo couldn't help but feel guilty, frowning and looking away. The dragon just snorted, lifting him and placing him behind the crown of his head. With a merry gait, the great wyrm made his way outside for the first time in a very long time, cheery as could be. “ **I'm keeping you, they can keep their mountain. You know, if they hadn't amassed such a large amount of wealth in one area I wouldn't have come!** ”

“Really?”

“ **Indeed. The Arkenrock you told me of? It's not as pretty to me as gold.** ” Bilbo couldn't help the laugh at the misnaming of the Arkenstone, something Smaug seemed happy of. The hobbit had to shield his eyes from the bright light of the sun as it peeked through a bit of clouds before dipping away. The dragon had reared back a bit, large eyes blinking rapidly. He'd been in the dark of Erebor so long natural light shocked him.

They heard shouts and then he found himself placed right in front of his fellows, smoke snorting from the dragon's nostrils. How to explain though?

“It appears even I did not know the ways a hobbit could surprise you.” Gandalf looked up at Smaug... kind of. He looked a bit to the side. Still, he seemed to know what was going on.

“ **Go have your mighty rock pile with the Arkenrock.** ” Bilbo covered his chuckle with a glare at the great lizard, unamused at the raised brow (he thinks it works like that) he was presented. The wizard looked between Smaug, the hobbit, and the dwarfs with a shake of his head. He made to ask the mighty beast something but his head dropped and settled beside Bilbo. “ **I'll be taking my hatchling back to his Shire.** ” And it seemed that the wizard understood then, backing them away. Or he would if Thorin hadn't ducked under his arm and given a glare to the hobbit as he approached. The other dwarfs followed but it was Bifur shouldering passed everyone and giving the might lizard a glare that made him snarl.

And he would have said something if he actually could. Instead he snarled something in ancient Khuzdul and signed various crude and rough things about what Smaug could do with his dumb ideas. Well, it was rougher than that but that was the gist of it. Smaug let out a sharp laugh, shaking his head.

“ **The minute I hand over my hatchling to a** _ **dwarf**_ **is the moment I stop breathing.** ” Bifur growled something back at him, foot stomping and arm holding Bilbo behind him. “ **I don't care if you met him first.** ” The dwarf with the ax in his head shouted something and snarled out something else. “ **Where's the courting bead then? I'm not letting him.** ”

And so it continued for a very, very long time, Bifur arguing with Smaug over whether or not he had the right to court Bilbo. Until the orcs and goblins descended. He'd ducked back inside quickly to smelt the final bit of his shiny armor on and took off, Bilbo tucked into Erebor and only a small handful of Men, Elves, and Dwarfs moving out to kill the things.

The day was ended with roasting orcs and goblins, a shiny dragon, and Bilbo being granted an emerald. Again. No, really. “Why do you keep giving me green things?” The dragon gave a shrug, walking along with him. The battle was over, few were injured, and Smaug was following him wherever he went. “And why do you not like Bifur?”

“ **You're a hatchling.** ” The hobbit gave a long suffering sigh, walking towards Erebor's gates. Dain's men had arrived when some orcs had broken the line and watched the dragon warily. He considered the green gem in his hands and then looked at the drake. “ **Give him the gem, if he accepts he accepts you.** ” And Smaug was happy, even as time passed and his hatchling aged. They lived in the Shire, frequently visiting the Company. Smaug watched his child fall to the power of the Ring and eventually, when it came time for Frodo to go to Mordor, he had the dwarfs fashion armor of his shed skin for them.

“Yes, I think I'm ready for one more adventure, do you think so, Smaug?” This said as the boats arrived, a red head dropping to caress his cheek. The tongue followed and the dragon nodded. He'd be going along because there was no other option.

“ **Come along, hatchling, I'd much like to see you and your dwarf restored.** ”

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Hobbit and make no money from these writings.
> 
> Smaug that is not how you raise a child.


End file.
